cyan_maid: Jane chatting while mixing (Of course I'm right)
Jane Crocker ([personal profile] cyan_maid) wrote2018-01-12 11:25 am
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AIRLOCKED R5 INVENTORY

CURRENTLY IN INVENTORY:
▼ Body Pillow - A long rectangular pillow, perfect for hugging at night. Can even be a substitute boyfriend, if you need one.
▼ Jetsons Chewable Vitamins - A balance of daily vitamins and minerals in a child-friendly fruit-flavored tablet. Even in the future, childproof caps are practically adultproof.
▼ Conch Shell - A seashell that lets you hear the sea if you hold it to your ear. Does not predict the future.
▼ Maid of Life Pajamas - received from Touko on Week 1, Saturday
Heating Pad - A pad that creates heat when plugged in. It has adjustable settings for maximum comfort. Given to Xander as part of a care package after the fallout from the camera.
▼ Wanna See A Trick? - Two (2) sets of six ping pong balls. They look white under normal light, but if you turn the lights out they glow.
▼ Vuvuzela - A long plastic instrument that creates a long, droning buzz. Perfect for drowning out people who love to toot their own horn.
▼ One (1) Boon: A small heart-shaped box with three chocolates inside, two are regular chocolates but the third will raise the consumer's luck for 3 hours after eating.
▼ Two (2) Antibiotic Gels - A gel with antibiotic properties. Makes wounds heal 40% faster than soap and water alone.
▼ Pony Pals #17: Detective Pony - A children's chapter book heavily edited and rewritten in orange ink by "DS". His revision is a tough, emotionally draining read, but it's cathartic in all the worst ways possible. Lent to Touko.
▼ Glitter Cannon Refills - Two (2) sets of refill rounds for a glitter cannon. They'd probably break open if you threw them with enough force anyway.
Coffee - A half-pound bag of whole bean coffee. It's high-quality beans from a faraway land. Given to Xander as part of a care package after the fallout from the camera.
▼ Gelatin - Instant fruit-flavored gelatin mix. Just add hot water, stir, and set in the fridge. You can even use cookie cutters to make fun shapes*! *Cookie cutters not included.
▼ Lip Balm - A small tube of chapstick. It smells like cherry blossoms.
▼ Jetsons Chewable Vitamins - A balance of daily vitamins and minerals in a child-friendly fruit-flavored tablet. Even in the future, childproof caps are practically adultproof.
▼ Sun Lamp - A miniature sun lamp. It perfectly imitates the conditions of Earth sunlight, but it's no substitute for the real thing.
▼ Glitter Cannon - A cannon that shoots plastic capsules filled with glitter. It's like paintball but worse.
Forget-Me-Lots - A beautiful bouquet of forget-me-nots. Dried and given to Xander as part of a care package after the fallout from the camera.
▼ Playing Cards - A deck of playing cards. It has a sticker like it's from a casino, but it's not any casino on Earth.
▼ One (1) pink knife from Armigod, mostly for a security item
▼ One (1) shitty bokken from Armigod, mostly for stress relief
▼ One (1) large plush of Howdy Rancour, damaged from being beat up by a bokken
▼ Fuzzy Socks - A pair of extremely soft socks. This pair is dark maroon.
▼ Gushers - A box of blue raspberry flavored Fruit Gushers from your favorite foodstuffs brand, Betty Crocker! Contains six (6) packs of sweet hexagonal bipyramids of snacking pleasure!
▼ Horseshoe Crab - A stuffed horseshoe crab. Shaped like a friend.
▼ Hardlight Projector - A small portable, wearable device that projects an image around the user, their size or taller.
▼ Modest Clothes - A pair of full-length black pants and a loose-fitting white turtleneck. It looks like something from an incredibly repressed futuristic society.
▼ Scented Candle - A candle in a glass jar. This one smells like cinnamon.
▼ Facial Scrub - A luxurious pink salt scrub. It'll purge your negative ions and leave your skin shiny and beautiful.
▼ Aspirin - A bottle of aspirin.
Formal Wear - Cute as the dickens and sized to fit!
▼ Holo Nail Polish - Two (2) bottles of holo nail polish. It's like a little galaxy for your fingers and toes.
▼ Lil' Sebastian - It's your very own robot rabbit companion! Watch as he scampers into trouble and guts carcasses to shelter the night in...or, he would, if he weren't a waterlogged, rust-encrusted mess. Unsalvageable unless you put months of work into him and replace pretty much all of his parts. Currently in Ardyn's hands to be fixed in some capacity.
▼ Puzzle Box - A handmade puzzle box, made by someone with too much time on their hands and way too much of a familiarity with puzzles. The inside has a small space to store something, but it is empty.
▼ Cloth Bandages - Plain bandages made out of plain white cloth.
▼ Heartburn Medicine - A bottle of heartburn medication. But can it fix a broken heart?
▼ Heiress Outfit - A set of clothes including a cyan ghost beast shirt, a grey knee skirt, white socks, and grey lace-up sneakers.
▼ Bearies Creme-Filled Cakes - A box of yellow creme-filled cakes. The cakes themselves are moist and beary delicious.
Joey the roomba, outfitted with matching green cat ears.
Jude the Porg plush, with a blue bandanna around his neck.
▼ One (1) Boon - a flour bomb to be used in any pranking endeavor you so desire.
▼ Playing Cards - A deck of playing cards. It has a sticker like it's from a casino, but it's not any casino on Earth.
Digital Camera - With candid pictures of 27 people, one small green alien, one blue alien, one hedgehog robot and one galaxy pigeon wearing an orange ribbon. You might even recognize just about all of them, including yourself! Guard this shit with your FUCKING LIFE
A Cloak - Warm and thick but terrible drab.
Survival Knife - Plastic replica of a survival knife. A birthday present from a younger sister then gifted to a daughter.



HAPPY TO GIVE AWAY/TRADE:
▼ Carnival Outfit - Look at that huge sombrero. When you put it on, maybe you'd like to shake some maracas.
Two (2) Fruit and Nut Baskets - A large red straw basket filled with oranges, grapefruits, several varieties of apples, pecans, walnuts, and Brazil nuts. Unfortunately, a nutcracker is not included. Given to Xander as part of a care package after the fallout from the camera.
▼ Coffee - Two (2) plastic tubs full of coffee grounds. It smells like battery acid and regret.
▼ Fuzzy Socks - A pair of extremely soft socks. This pair is red.
▼ Hot Stuff - A men's sized tank top reading 'Caution: contents may be EXTREMELY HOT' in colorful letting.
▼ Tarot - A deck of tarot cards. Even if you don't believe they can tell the future, the cards are a work of art.
Vixen Constellation - A small model of a well-maintained convertible. It may have been painted to match its driver in some fashion. Given to Ardyn.
Wolfjob - A 3D model of a wolf giving a guy a handjob. Pawjob? Thrown at the wall in Flavortown, likely in the garbage.
My Son - Your son now. Quantity: 2.
Survival Guide - Very well read with some pages missing on the inside. There's notes written in the margins seemingly arguing with the original text. An added page with a strange alphabet has been tucked inside. Returned to Nari.
▼ Foego - Two (2) bottle of highly sugary soda. It's more sugar than liquid now. One's flavor is blue raspberry, the other's is eggnog.
▼ Whiskey - A bottle of off-brand, shitty whiskey.
Vodka - A bottle of vodka. This one is flavored like kale. Given to Nari.
Two (2) Model Time Machines - A blue and white model spaceship with a six-pointed red insignia on the... balls. It looks like a cock and balls. Both put in the corner with the giant bottle of lube she helped Arianna "hide" in Flavortown.
▼ Two (2) Tuxedo Briefs - A pair of black and white briefs that look like a very dapper shirt and tie. You can tear away the front to reveal...a pair of the exact same briefs.
▼ Vodka - A bottle of vodka. This one is flavored like cup noodles.
Space Lube - A tube helpfully labeled Space Lube. The tube is as big as a full-grown man and weighs about 90 lbs Left in Flavortown for anyone to make use of in mischievous ways.
▼ Inflatable Swimming Pool - A blue rubber swimming pool. Too bad it doesn't come with an air pump to inflate it with.
▼ Brotherly Portrait - A hand drawn portrait of two identical boys who look like Choromatsu. One is in red and the other in blue with sunglasses on. They both look happy. In the bottom corner is a fancy-looking "JF". Looks like Choromatsu, so...maybe it's his?
▼ Scented Candle - A candle in a glass jar. This one smells like onions. It has layers.
▼ The Good Stuff - Two (2) bottles full of large white pills. The label says "Oxycodone." Give it to someone who will keep this shit safe.
Bon Appetit - A box of ten brand new multicolored dams. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic! Put in the sexual corner of Flavortown.
Childhood Photo - A framed photo of two kids and a bunch of flowers. The little girl looks like Yurika, give it to her!
Glove Me Daddy - A box of fifty lubricated condoms in randomized colors and flavors. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic! Left in the sexual corner of Flavortown.
Captain's Uniform - Like capelets, heels, and minidresses? Course you do. Baton and key card not included.