Victory Road IC Inbox

[cyan_maid]

Ring, ring...ring, ring... beep!

Hello! You've reached Jane Crocker. Sorry I couldn't pick up at the moment, but if you could please leave your name, number, and a brief message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

Comments

[cyan_maid]

I will be more than happy to give him the pets if he so pleases.
I don't think he evolves to have gravy though? He's a Grass type primarily, I think.
No, neither am I. As much as I like the idea of folks spreading out and traveling more, tossing someone into the one half of your locale that isn't often visited is downright cruel.
Hoo boy, is there anything I can do to help mitigate that situation?

[brocrux]

You're in luck. That might be his top priority.
You're so pure, Jane. The potential for a diarrhea joke went right by you.
So rude. I'd be stranded and have to replace you all with Kanto doppelgangers.
I'm afraid this can only end in violence, Jane.

[cyan_maid]

...Oh my God, Dirk, that's gross. Why would I make that leap in logic?
So far I have no had the unfortunate opportunity to see what it's like when a Pokemon has gastrointestinal distress all over the floor, and I hope that luck can hold out for a little while longer.
Shucks! Well, I wouldn't mind going toe-to-toe with a doppelganger if she insisted in being the one true Jane. All the business with alternate selves and timelines makes a girl a little jaded to such assertations.

[brocrux]

You wouldn't, as demonstrated here.
There may be a carefully induced Crocker diet involved in preventing that more than luck. If anything, they would be constipated.
I understand that for sure.
Considering a universe over the alternates were wholesome grandmother figures, I have no doubt you could kick the the collective doppelgangers ass. Kanto Jane never stood a chance.

[cyan_maid]

Constipation is on the opposite spectrum and is also bad and uncomfortable. Ideally, and perhaps a bit too informative, I would very much like my Pokemon to poop on the regular but not let it be an incredibly messy problem.
Kanto Jane is unfortunately the inferior Jane. But don't tell hypothetical her that I said as much. :B

[brocrux]

Can we get them Pokemon yogurts like in those very real marketing campaigns?
The ones where a circle of middle-aged women would casually talk about their bowel movements over brunch?
I'm telling her to hype you up so she spreads it around the doppelgangers of everyone else and we build a badass reputation.

[cyan_maid]

It's certainly possible! When we get you back up here, we should check at the grocery store to see if that is a thing.
Oh my, we'll run them out of this universe yet, won't we?

[brocrux]

You know it.
So, just to make sure I'm caught up, did anything else happen lately?
Nobody else got hit with this nonsense, right? Just me? You're all fine over there?

[cyan_maid]

We're all fine over here, as far as I know.
No weirdness aside from glitches deciding they want to be your best friend.

[brocrux]

Good.
Figures it would be me. I should probably stop trying to reprogram the gears.

[cyan_maid]

It could have been anyone, you know - don't start with that "of course it would be me" malarkey!
And how can you say that tinkering with the Poke'gear might have done it?
They're our lifeline into this world and to each other, sure, but I highly doubt they're THAT important to our presence here.

[brocrux]

Sure but from a purely logical standpoint, it does make the most sense for it to be me out of our group.
Who knows. It could be used as a mind control device and the close proximity to it keeps us carefully under the Pokemon World's influence.

[cyan_maid]

But when have the machinations of this world ever actually run on logic? There's a living creature that is a bag of garbage, for Pete's sake!
I'm going to maintain that it could've still happened to any of us.
...
To be fair, breaking free would mean going back home where I'm still pretty sure everything was going to heck on my end of things. I'm not exactly keen on that.

[brocrux]

There's a certain logic to it, be it an extremely flawed one.
Is there really a sentient bag of garbage? Is that one new? How the fuck don't I have one?
We're going to need to catch this monstrosity immediately.
Ah.
That could happen.
But I was thinking more along the lines of the clearly obvious power restrictions put into place on all of us.

[cyan_maid]

You can find them in most alleys in Goldenrod. I'd say I'm surprised you haven't seen one, but considering your habits as of late, I'm not. When we get you back up here, I'll show you where I've seen them.
I suppose it'd be silly if WE had powers while interacting with Pokemon,
though. I mean, why would you catch, befriend, and train a giant bat when you can fly? Or, why would you have a Pokemon with arm-swords when you fight with swords?

[brocrux]

Why WOULDN'T we have a Pokemon with arm swords while also fighting with swords?

[cyan_maid]

...Because...why would WE need to fight with swords...when Pokemon do all the fighting...AND have swords?

[brocrux]

Why would the Pokemon do all the fighting if we have swords now?
We fight with the Pokemon.

[cyan_maid]

There is literally no one that we have to physically fight in this world, unless we really need to. See: Team Rocket, and punches to the face.

[brocrux]

What if I just want a good spar with a steel type, Jane?
You're taking the fun out of the idea by pointing out the impracticality of physical violence.

[cyan_maid]

You're going to end up hurting yourself that way. Also, Dart is not sparring with people. He's not allowed.

[brocrux]

Dart and I are going to kick each-other's asses.

[cyan_maid]

No you are most certainly not!
He already barely listens to my own commands as it is! What if you got seriously hurt?